2002-10-05
7:49 p.m.
j
crooked fingers, and joel plaskett, and the visitor from the past and future, and other visitors from the present, have made this week so perfect. from the past, and from the future. is this true? love all over the world is so smug because it knows it's unique, and so i should quiet down and see what happens. but good lord, i haven't ever had it like this. i haven't ever been like this. i haven't EVER. it feels as though my whole life has been in preparation for one crushing love affair, and that's a shitty way for a feminist to be thinking, but then this is the third wave, right? i can't believe the things i'm waking up to. i can't believe the cave my bedroom became one morning because of driving rain outside, or the long saturday paper-hot lemon- ella and louis hours we had today. how can it be anything but good to be calling up this love from deep recesses of my body, to be bringing in the reserves, to be using every last drop of blood? and how stupid am i for knowing this day what i will be doing in five years, and that there will be a circle around one finger from metal that's always there? how stupid am i for KNOWING WITHOUT DOUBT and THIS IS FOR SURE and I DO LOVE YOU? but it's not just me, and every square inch of my skin, conduit for all the love moving back and forth, knows that traffic is heavy but speedy in both directions. this is magical.
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