2002-11-03
1:09 p.m.
hail
On friday night, after the Week o' Personal Betterment By Trial, and after hopping to the Khyber to see some filthy old country music and drink beer I didn't need, the freckledfiend + 1 and I walked up to the all-night diner. When the thunder and lightning started, I thought I was hallucinating. When the wind picked up, I thought I was growing a lean. But when sizeable hail started pelting all three of us, I knew that the weather had finally caught up with the months. "Oh crap! it's November! Get the hail, get the hail!" And last night there was snow whipping through the streets, all over the green leaves still clinging to trees. So I'm headed for the park, to say goodbye to all my new friends, or sleep well, or I'll be watching out for you. * Who even knew that Raspberry Amaretto jam existed? Why are you keeping all these wonderful secrets from me? * I found out that life is currently terrible for that old flame. Old flame? Old bonfire. Old scarring, wrenching, poisonous flame who chased me to the edge of some very high cliffs and sneered when I built bridges instead of jumping. Some of the evil he inflicted on me is being inflicted on him, now, by the very person he left me for. And goddammit, all I feel is sorry for him. Isn't this my chance to gloat and crow and talk about karma and fate? Well, maybe I can a little, but mostly I just feel bad for the guy. I've always maintained that the most effective hell would be one in which bad people develop a muscley conscience- and, judging by how much apology and misery there were in his words, he's living my idea of hell. (terrible that after years, and after a few times without it happening, just his words across the screen set me trembling and shaking. I took deep breaths and told the people who asked me that I was just very cold. I suspect that these are more contemporary shakes, though, that seized a dishonest outlet to stop me from thinking about the present too hard.) and hardly
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