2003-02-27
2:10 a.m.
i love my girl
heave sighs of relief and exhaustion, and get the hell home. segment sounders on the cbc that I used to wake up to have been putting me to bed this week, and I'm all topsy-turvy. but tomorrow night promises to be delightfully/deliriously free, and I will do something fun with it like cleaning the bathroom or buying groceries, maybe writing letters to the dearest ones. it's dire sometimes, the amount of time I don't have, but guilt is so much further away when I'm out of breath from the work. I used to marvel at my grandmother who couldn't stand feeling lazy; I didn't understand her relentless motion - knit, clean, garden, cook, twitter, flutter, buzz. I'm becoming familiar now with that fear of stillness; the terror that the moment one stops moving,making, and working, one becomes obsolete, redundant, worthless. I nod a smug nod at my former self and say serves you right! time you learned what real work is! while my former self waves cheerfully, healthily, and happily back. I'm not sure who to side with on this. but really, who the fuck cares when there is soft bed and a lie-in? goodnight, sleep well, sweet dreams (and all the other things I wouldn't mind hearing.)
heave sighs of relief and exhaustion. get the hell home.
donna, oh where can you be
|