2002-10-25
8:13 p.m.
from the hips
aaah, aaaah, AAAAAH. that it's been years and I'm still writing about it drives me crazy. let it the fuck GO. I know what it is, what shades and suggestions are making me worried that I won't recognize my own weaknesses before it's too late again. but really, years and years, and I'd like to think I've learned a thing or two since. * from a certain stony beach, I watched today's sun set over hills full of every colour known to leaf. the ocean (and my skin) was blue then grey then pink then black; the rock (and my hands) was warm and then suddenly so chilled; the paths were pine needles and then gravel, rock and then moss. so you'd think I'd make the leap, if I really notice the world around me so much. things just are ephemeral. things just shift. things change and grow and shrink, and the faster I get that through my evidently-thick skull, the more life I can spend without being surprised and shocked (smallandsad) every time a friend/loveship ends or my postal code changes. I suppose I'm still shaking the idea of adulthood being a place rather than a passage; I always thought that by 22 I would have arrived. Nope! nope. At least, I hope I haven't. Good grief. * (thank-you, sky, for those bits of gold and silver that bookend my days. I'm glad I know the words to say while I watch you, or I'd be blushing at my feet.) keeping your back straight
|