2003-04-20
9:59 a.m.
there you go my friends
Ugh. It's the drama I hate most of all. It's not a big deal, just that some fella I used to kiss has been checking up on me for the past few months, and while I'd like to pretend that I'm okay with whatever audience happens to be reading, I'm not. Just knowing you're there recalls every second, and makes everything I write here bilious. Purposely vague so you don't actually know what's happening to me, I've ended up offending at least two people I love - and one I like well enough - who were sure they could see my words pointing at them. For this silly, convoluted little diary to be causing actual rifts in my real life makes me sick - and without blaming you, I will give you full credit for this wisp of an ending. I like what slower saw me through - three perfect homes (kentville, yellowknife, halifax), two forever-feeling loves (ha. well, we'll see), and the - albeit winding - change from childhood to adulthood. I love these records of feelings I thought So Important, and how almost all of it fades to triviality in time. I'm planning to spend the summer outside as much as possible, so it'll probably be quickie livejournal updates till the Autumn. If you [and now I mean the people who've kept me going here for so long] want to stay in touch, write to me at speedup@bust.com (ha! ha! get it?), and we can write long letters and send summer mixtapes, okay? Thanks, by the way, for coming round here. with your boxes in your car
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